| portland |
[10 Aug 2006|02:17pm] |
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iam going apartment shoping in sept. as soon as i find one, i dont care if i have to dragg my stuff threw snow and rain, iam soo outs of hear. sleater kinney, is over. it sucks. but thats rock and roll. they were one of my main insprations to play music. i am soo happy i had the chance to see them millons of times. its too bad that its all over.
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| the time is near |
[13 Jul 2006|12:32am] |
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i cant wait, only a few more weeks and i am out of hear. now i just have to get an apartment. portland.
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| the gavity of things |
[17 Jun 2006|10:36pm] |
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when somone you know dies, it make you think. all thou i hardly knew him in person, all thou we have only ment twice or soo in really life. he made me laugh. the thing that bothers me the most is that, i saw a peace o me in him. he was really funny guy. he went out a way i almost did a few year s ago. i dont know why i got to be one o the lucky one if you could call it that. he was only a year older then me. it really fucked. the more i think about the more fucke up i feel. his my space is even still running. its soo fucked.
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| the things that run threw yr head |
[30 May 2006|11:20pm] |
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about a month a go i ran away to sf. i walked the steets and saw all kinds of wounderful stuff. i went up there to see the yyys. i tell people when i go there i allways run into people i knoe. i did but they never noice. i just let them walked on by. i could not say anyting. i dont knoe why i did. i dont know why i never told her when she called i saw her. she looked soo happy. happyer then what i could have ever made her. on castro, i drove by and say her with her gf. they looked soo happy. her arm around her. the looked she gave her. it just looked soo perfect. her pink flowerly butten up shirt all they way to her shoes. the way she loombed around her. one could only of hoped they too could have this one day. its the oddest thing, seeing people you know walking the steets of large citys you konw you would never expect to see them in. thats my life, thats just how it is, allways seeing people never interacting with them. its the small details, that i allways seem to rember, they allways stick with me. right now iam just foating threw life like a blurr. but these last few months i have been feeling morel like a ghost.
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| what to say |
[26 May 2006|10:31pm] |
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i have not writting in here for a while. things are better then they have been. iam playing the knitting factory on l bay. i am moving out of my house in town in a couple of weeks. iam happy just becuse that means i get to save more money. ive been working on a side project by my self lalty. well it s jsut me kind of fucking around with my computer. i dont go out much any more ive been hiding in my moms house latly not wanting to leave. in a couple of months iam out of here. the closer the day get s the more neverous and excighted i get. Portland in aug. the only thing ima kind of sad about is that l will not move with d and i becuse her bf wants to stay in fresno. iam sure she will follow soon in dec. wel she hopes to. ive been truing down girls lalty that want to take me out. i feel like iam spining out of controll and the last thing i need is someone keeping me form leaving. a lot of my friend are moving this summer to portland. i realized iam in love with someone, but i let them slip threw my fingers like melted butter, fuck. any how iam glad to see tanya someone i would conciedr one of my best friend is living in portland now with her love amber. i really want to meet this girl. any how ia hope they are stil up there when i get up there. i really miss her.
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| my life is a party |
[22 Oct 2005|10:30am] |
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well, i have been up to nouthing but carzy fun stuff latly. even thou some people have been trying to dragg me down in to the dirt. i love my job. i love bike riding and i love planning out trips.i got a flat on l's bike soo iam going to try to fix it this week. that is if our wonderful cheeks come in. thats about the only thing that has sucked arond hear latly. i been wantting to go out of state to vist friends a lot latly. i think a trip out of hear would do me some good.
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[11 Sep 2005|12:51pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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chix on speed |
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just haning in there. breathig air and braking teeth. i have gone above and beyond, finally got my benifits and talking to my x civly. welll... you knoe.
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| huh |
[08 Sep 2005|10:22pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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j. newsom |
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you knoe you have reach a sertain kind of crazy when all you do is liston to j. newson!
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| life is good |
[30 Aug 2005|07:43pm] |
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mood |
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 jubilant |
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music |
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hot springs |
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i had a really fun weekend. i hung out with this band called swims and l and played 2 shows with them. we hooked back up with the girls from vf. it was soo much fun. partying in sac town was amazing. i cant wait to go back. latly i have been in to northen music, i love it cant get eough of it. i love you maple leefed muscians.!guss who can fially drive again? new car thats right! i can drive again.
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| well well |
[27 Aug 2005|02:19am] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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music |
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gt. |
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i guss its time to invaid sac town. Time to get my slut on.!
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| no more |
[25 Aug 2005|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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are you wiggling |
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i really have nothing about people who some weed. a few of my good friends smoke weed. its just that when it come s to being in a relatoinship with someone who is an addict, i dont beleve i should come second it there habit.
Iam tired and life is too short to be fucking around with someone who's not ther mintaly. I knoe i have my faults, but i do what i can to keep the people when iam dating happy and intested. I stopped talking to her, becuse all she wanted to do was go to her friends house and get high. She says that the only reson that she does not invight me over there is becuse she knoes i hate it. I got tired of letting her hurt my feelings. I did a test to see how long it would take for her to call me. it took 3 weeks. 3 fucking weeks. she called me when i was out of town, i was just calling becuse i want to talk. Iam not callign her back. mabye ill see her when our bands play a show on the 13th. I still have not decided how nice iam going to be yet. back to sulting it up again. not like i stopped any how.
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[18 Aug 2005|01:02am] |
the wolf cried!
learn how to find yr way back home...
the pack is where you belong.
learn how to find yr way back home...
the pack is where you belong
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| get me out of here |
[13 Aug 2005|04:43pm] |
so latly i have been going sturr crazy. Dacning around with danle is the only thing that has been keeping me form going crazy. In between, putting my bed room to gather at my new apt and working at star bucks, and ht, i have been going insain.
I have been using on line sorces to look up places to play shows. i have been trying to book us a show in sf, but so far no luck o well. all i have been thinking about doing latly is writing a sceen play. i have been working on this one for a year and now i finally have set down to do the second part. iam in the process of pulling the thing all togather and getting it ready for film. just waiting for a freind to get back form la.
i have been hiding away in my room latly. not wanting to go out or anything latly. relaxing in my pool and thinking of new ways to make money.
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| what a night |
[09 Aug 2005|02:49am] |
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i worked till 1245 then got frusted by the people i was going to hang out with. my foot hurts soo bad i cant sleep. i never thought that puting somtnig togather as simple as a futon can be soo hazordous to yr helf. i cant sleep. i went out with a co worker today. she got really drunk and kept saying crazy stuff to me. when i told her i was hunger she was like, well you can go down on me. i laoughed. haha, she soo crazy.
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| this hole in my heart |
[05 Aug 2005|12:15am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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the lovers |
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lalty i have been waking up in the middle of the night playing my gutar for hours and hours on end. its the only thing that has been keeping me form faling into that dark place that i sometimes go. but a part of me thinks iam losing that battle. when i feel the drop in my emotal leve starting to go, i try to keep my self busy so that i dont find my self doing dumb shit and then wornding how the fuck i ended up doing it again.
i have been feeling really lonly latly. it seem that now iam the only one of my friends that is single. yesterday night it hit me how unhappy i was with my current dating opations. i more i think about it the depressed i get about it. curzing the culbs just sucks down here, i just cant find any one that i connect with. hope has become a dirty sceart i keep.
My eyes are soo open right now. evey part of me is awake for once. Playing a show with someone who understands who i am was grate. they got me, it was soo releveing and such a beath of freash air plaing with the king cobra. All i have been thinking about lalty is music. I really want to record a full leanth by the end of the summer. iam just worried that we will not have eough money to. we have about 10 songs that are ready to be recored. 4 of them are allready recored we just need to record the other six. the only thing that sucks is who do we get to recored them? a few people have asked to recored us. the only thing that sucks is the coast.
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| weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
[21 Jul 2005|12:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
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| [ |
music |
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king cobra |
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in on week the coolest thing in my music career will insew, i am soo excighted, king cobra. iam soo excighted. eveything is soo awsome right now. new job rocks. new house rocks. and dayly works outs are getting more intense. i love it. but i still have an emty spot in my heart. grr the void grows each day.
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| moven on out |
[16 Jul 2005|01:23pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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asr emotric |
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well iam moving out of mom's house really soon. iam so happy. even thou ill be over hear a lot when iam out for good. i started running again and i can all ready feel the brun in my leggs. its going to be a grate summer i hope. i love my new job. I get a lot of hours and its relly good pasted, there is not gossip and they dont care if iam a fag.... YEYE
i got green paper to put on the walls of the bacement that i will soon be calling my home. i cant wait.
i should be gettig a cheek this week for the money of my car crazh last year. then once iam all healed up form the new one, iam sure ill get aother cheek. i cant belever i got reened 2 time s in a year. it bull shit. grr. but what can you do.
gay pride is in a week or so and i relly want to go. Iam not sure if i will be able to 2 now that iam juggling 2 job and soon school. i am really a bussy body now. I miss my friends Jamie and juila. I have been thinking a lot about them latly. Exp. Becuse now L and I are playing a show with the king cobra. I really wish Jamie was here to see it, that would be grate. Iam thinking about running away to sf for a day just to see if i can catch up with her.
iam single once more but this time i really loveing it. i can talk to a new girl eveyday if i wanted to but i think ill keep it cool for a while.
I have been hanging out wiht my x way too much. Iam really starteding to hate her now that our friend john is living in la. She relly clinie and keeps calling me babe and i am like shit bitch iam not yr gf. Stop sleep touching me, you knoe when my back is turned to you when iam sleeping it mean stop tuoching me. I really want to hit her somtimes. it really sad becuse she is nice person and all just not my type.
got to go pack shit up
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| interesting |
[10 Jul 2005|01:22am] |
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well i started a new job, now iam a Star buck whorre and hot topic slut, whoo hoo. The amazing things have been rolling around in my head latly. helf of them i cant even bleave. A year a go if you would have told me, The King Cobra and Ira where going to play a show to gather i would have just siad, that could happen. Now that the date for the show get closer, iam kind of still in a daze, 2 weeks and Rachle and her gf. Its amzing. June 29th, i cant really beleve it.
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| what |
[03 Jul 2005|02:03pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sk sleep air |
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so iam kind of pissy today. not to be in a bitchie mood or anything but i feel like my friends are stuck in 1992. if Kathleen hannh can move on form the roit girl movement, why cant they. today l and i are playing a roit girl picknic. it makes no since to me. Hambers? what the fuck. Iam soo irrataed, i feel like there trying to shove girl back down the hole by bring it all back the a movement that was grate and helped women move up in music. But why put us back in the past? Why not move forword, i have been fighting with my self all week over this.
Tomarrow i go watch sk with my good friend j. Were goign to drive up there in his geep and hang out. i might get a new tatto when up there depending on if i have eough cash... that mean if i dotn go crazy and drink away my money like i have been doing latly.
there is soo much excighting stuff going on in my life right now. helf of it i cant even really beleave.My life seems like some odd dream and i really dont want to wake up from it. Iam still single... Iam total fine with it, Althou i find my self daydream about my sceart crush that i have had on this girl for a long time. I ll never tell her thou.
I started a secornd job. it rocks. finlaly biniefits. Ira is on the up and up and things look really good right now. All i have been wanting to do is play music laty and ride my bike. For the frist time in a long time i feel centerd.
I miss my friends that moveed to washington. Moving out of hear seems like pipe dream now that i might starte going back to school to be a serical asstaent. But once iam done with school iam so out of here. L and i are thing PORTLAND. But thats not for a while. like 14months.
currtently i have been working my ass off on editing a screen play that j and i are going to make in to a movie this summer. All i have to is finger out who is going to do what and how where going to flim it. I cant tell any one really what it about , just knoe that is going to be good. that is once i iorn out a few things. But that should not take more then 2 weeks or so.
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| new songs |
[12 May 2005|11:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sk entertaie |
] |
latly i have been trapped in my house, all there is to do is wirte music and clean the shit out of my room. Tanya is coming down on the 25 or the 26th. if she comes down on the 25 my room has to be fucking spotless. I dont want her to knoe how mess i still am. o well. Mostliky thou we will spend the night at l and c. not sure yet. iam just waiting for t to call me back.
so since my lastest car accident song have been pooring out of my head and in t my lap so far i have 3 new one that are ready to play, just as long as i can get a pratce in. before the 21, the john waters house party. then the next show after that is the 24th with needy evey and tba, the bands from la are copouts soo far two have canled due to poor plannig of the booking agent.
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